How do I get more confident?

If you would like to be more confident, or are wondering how you can get more confident in the first place, then this blog post is for you. I think we all would like to be a little more confident at times.


First I would like to tell you a story about a young girl. The young girl had a low self-esteem and was very much oriented towards what the others thought of her, repeatedly made "mistakes" in their eyes, and thereby became very insecure again and again. Anyway, she found out from an old wise woman who could help her solve this problem for her. She went looking for this woman, who also assured her on arrival that she could help the girl with her problem, but that she should sell a ring for her first. And so she asked the girl to go to the market for her and sell this ring for her for a gold thaler. The girl said that she could do that and went to the market and from stand to stand and said that she would just like to have a gold thaler for this ring. And it was only laughed at by all the market stalls, all of whom said that this ring was worth a maximum of 6 or 7 silver coins but would never be worth a whole gold thaler.

Totally disappointed, the girl went back to the old wise woman and told her what had happened to her and said that unfortunately she could not hide anyone about the value of the ring. And then the old wise woman listened up and said "That's interesting, that means we have to find out what the real value of the ring is first." So she told the girl to take the ring to a goldsmith and he should then first determine the value of the ring. Then the girl went off again and showed the goldsmith the ring who looked at you the piece very carefully under the magnifying glass. Then the goldsmith said: "Mh .. yes, the ring has a value of about 60-65 gold coins and he would give these to the old wise woman for it." The girl was totally surprised because she would never have expected such a high assessment and very quickly went back to the old wise woman and told her very enthusiastically about her new knowledge. Then the old wise woman said, “You are just like this ring. You are unique and infinitely valuable. But sometimes it takes a professional to recognize that. And anyway there is no point walking through the world and expecting everyone to be able to recognize the true value. "

Why am I telling you this story? Because I believe that we ourselves have to become the specialist for our self-confidence. And only when we ourselves recognize our value can others also recognize it. The big question now is: How do you recognize your worth and how do you become an expert for your self-confidence?

Let's take a look at the word SELF-CONFIDENCE. What does that say That tells itself to BE CONSCIOUS OF YOURSELF. And when you are aware of yourself and when you know yourself well, then you automatically become self-conscious.

I would now like to introduce you to five steps that should help you to get to know yourself better and to become more aware of yourself.


The absolute basis for developing healthy self-confidence is the question “What do I actually need?” What kind of environment do I need? What do I need for people who do me good? What do I need for a job that fulfills me? What do I need to feel healthy? Which sport is good for me? What do I need in a partnership? All of these questions can help you figure out what your needs are. As natural as it sounds, it is unfortunately not that natural.

At this point, take a quick look at yourself in which area you may not yet listen so much to your needs or pay attention to them. And what you can do in the next few weeks to be more aware of your needs with regard to the areas mentioned above.


We can all remember very well and are repeatedly held up against what we have done wrong and what we cannot. It is so important to be aware of what you are really good at and what your strategies for success are. What we did particularly well and how we then dealt with it. So be sure to take a look at yourself! What have you already achieved and mastered in your life? What are your strategies for success? What challenging things have you already experienced and how did you deal with it then? What special skills do you have? What can you do especially good? The more aware you become of your abilities, the more your self-confidence grows. Where you direct your focus, your energy flows there. And if you always look where your strengths are perhaps not exactly or where something has just gone wrong, then that doesn't feel good. And that certainly doesn't make you more confident. But if you look at what you are really good at and what you do particularly well, i.e. if you focus on your resources, then your self-confidence increases all by itself. Sit down in the evening and make a list of your skills. Maybe you will be surprised at the result.


Interestingly, we ask ourselves this question far too rarely. The moment you have clearly defined your values, you have something like an inner compass that always points you in the right direction. The more clearly you have defined your values ​​for yourself, the easier it will be for you to make decisions. If you are unsure in this area, i.e. have not clearly defined your values ​​for yourself, then you are also like a flag in the wind that always does not really know what to do and how to decide. So be sure to sit down and write down “What is really important to me?” Examples would be creativity, family, relationships, personality development, love, honesty, maybe it's a certain hobby. The clearer you have your values, the clearer your inner compass will be, which will help you to be more aware of yourself.


What do you want in your life and how do you want to shape it? I am convinced that we can all manage our life the way we would like it to be. I would like to give you two questions that can help you to find your life vision. The first question is “What do I really like? What do I love? "And the second question" What am I really good at? "Then you should take the questions from the previous steps and then look" What do I actually want to design with it? " Strengths lie and something does what you love. In order to then become more self-confident again.


You probably know the question: “What is the meaning of life?” And it is always suggested that life itself has to have a meaning and that one has to look for it. I would like to motivate you to change your perspective: "What is the meaning you want to give your life?" Go into your activity and power so that you don't say that life is happening to you and that you are at the mercy of it. But that you actively shape your life. We ourselves have to give meaning to life. That is then also strongly related to your values, your needs and what you love. So everything that we have already worked out in the previous points. Take a look and think with these points “What meaning do I want to give my life? What am i here for What is my gift to the world? What can i help with? What can only I do what no one else can? ”The clearer these points are to you, the more self-confident you become. That strengthens you.

Reflect on all of this information. Make a vision board that will help you visualize and realize all of the points. Summarize everything you have learned about yourself in one picture and ask yourself the question “Who am I anyway?” And listen more to your heart again instead of just what your mind tells you. Negative experiences lead us to distance ourselves from our hearts and become more cerebral. In evolutionary terms, this serves to ensure that we survive. So our minds are like a security system that is supposed to protect us from evil. We don't need that anymore, however. And for this reason, our minds are not so willing to take risks and often slow us down when we want to pursue our dreams. So how do you manage to go deeper into the heart and follow your intuition? You can do this above all by realizing that you are not your mind or your thoughts. Meditation has helped me a lot and still does. So use these new insights that you have now learned about yourself to rekindle your flame and pursue your strengths and dreams. I wish you every success from the bottom of my heart.

Lovely wishes,

xo your Carlinka


  • Laura

    Liebe Carlinka, vielen lieben Dank für diesen tollen Blog-Beitrag. Die Geschichte hat mir total gut gefallen und mir echt die Augen geöffnet. Bin durch Zufall auf deine Seite gestossen und hier an dem Blog hängen geblieben. Wirklich toller Content. Und liebe das Konzept von Gypsy Apparel. Weiter so! Ganz liebe Grüsse, Laura <3

  • Carmen

    Liebe Caro,
    danke für deinen unglaublich inspirierenden Worte!!! Ich stimme dir vollkommen zu und durch deinen Text bin ich motivierter denn je, meine Ziele zu erreichen, um meinem Leben den Sinn zu geben, das es verdient hat!
    Mach weiter so!! #girlsforgirls

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published